Why is there so much unhappiness in our lives today? Should you think this supposition untrue, ask yourself why people spend so much time seeking ways to distract themselves with empty pleasures or in the pursuit of endless spiritual paths and promises that, at best, serve only to temporarily mitigate their mounting misery.

Let's explore a few of the broader questions concerning what seems an incessant human suffering. And please try to remember this spiritual axiom as we proceed: Anything in us that resists exploring the cause of a sorrow is itself part of the pain it prefers stay unexposed.

With these ideas in mind we ask, "Is a daily dose of pain necessary?" And if these various heartaches - these fears and frustrations - are part and parcel with participating in life, are these same pains an inescapable attribute of Reality? Or, are these dark moments unnecessary and actually just shadows of our misunderstanding about what is possible in life and what is not?

Now, I realize that in today's highly spiritualized slick atmosphere, the suggestion that some things in life are impossible to us may not find favor. After all, according to the reasoning of many of today's so-called masters and gurus, nothing is impossible for those realized beings illuminated by the "Light" - sentiments easily swallowed by those hungry for self-illusion.

But there are things in this life that cannot be done. And it is our continuing attempts to do these things that actually produce much if not all of our everyday unhappiness; an unhappiness that we erroneously blame upon other people and circumstances in life. The brief explanation that follows reveals both the truth of this and why we need to see it.

We begin with the fact that each of us does have the power - in one way or another - to do as we wish when we wish it. So, the issue at hand isn't that we can't do what we wish, but that these actions cannot deliver the result intended by our original wish. They can't. And that's just the point. And if we can prove this then we also show that some things are indeed impossible.

For instance, take a person who wants to win everyone's approval. He believes that it is possible to adjust his behavior so that whomever he meets will like him. This is his wish and to make it come true he colors his every behavior with everyone he encounters, known to him or not. At this point we can agree it is possible for him to act out his hope of being loved by all he meets.

But what is impossible for him to do - regardless of how any one encounter turns out for him - is to free himself of this nagging insecurity by acting out what this same fearful nature compels him to do while in the presence of others. This unconscious state of self not only keeps him captive of his doubt-ridden self but, as we will discover, it actually adds to his suffering.

Since it is this strained sense of himself - of feeling inept or insufficient - that drives him to seek its opposite (for example, impressing people to win their approval), then, in reality, what is it that is actually interfacing with those people he would win over? It is his weakness; a fact hidden from him because of his identification with his pretend powers of self-command!

Now to this last idea add the fact that such a weakness in us easily intuits itself in others. And more, that it is the nature of such a weakness to judge and then pounce upon anyone else displaying it. Put these facts together and it becomes obvious that not only is it impossible for this one person to fulfill his wish, but his attempt to do so causes the very suffering he so resists.

Here is the heart of this lesson, the specific points of which I will make clearer later in a special exercise: No opposite can cancel itself. It is impossible. We can draw upon the following short metaphor to help us better understand this crucial spiritual Truth.

Imagine a sad pencil that wants all the pens of the world to acknowledge its handsome lines, but it can't win its way! So, it decides not to be a pencil any more. And while one end of this pained pencil concocts ways to change itself into something that is no longer a lead-filled stick, in the end - by the very need it has to dream such dreams to escape itself - it remains a pencil.

The more we learn about the unnecessary suffering these unseen opposites create in us through our unconscious relationship with them, the freer we become from being driven to attempt the impossible. For one example, it is impossible to bring an end to any emotional suffering by imagining some new joy. Can you see from our new study why this is true?

The self that is moved to do this kind of imagining does not understand that some unseen force of sorrow or distress fuels its dream-engine. As a consequence, the more it works to imagine some hoped-for happiness, the more identified it becomes in the opposite that is driving this dream of brighter times to come.

Our lives are meant to be bright, noble, and ever ascending. This promise of our True Potential is made Good in us by the fulfillment of our Possibilities, and not through the interminable struggle of trying to do what is impossible. Most of our sorrows are the offspring of trying to be something we have no Real need to be, in trying to do what cannot - and need not - be done.

The following "10 Causes of Needless Heartaches" reveal how we unknowingly hurt ourselves. Please keep in mind that in each of the ten insights listed below are two key ideas: First, whenever we are goaded into attempting the impossible, we not only suffer defeat but we also strengthen the self that would have us believe it's possible to put out a fire with gasoline.

Second, as we see the fact of these false workings in our mind and heart the only possible solution is to end our participation with their foolish guidance. In other words, our needless heartaches end as we see that the healing we hope for begins with letting go of our unseen relationship with those parts of ourselves responsible for our self-hurting.

Now, let's look at just ten small places in our psychic lives where we are trying to do the impossible and where, as a result of our misunderstanding, we are still sowing and reaping the harvest of frustration and heartache.

1. It is impossible to make others see where they have made a mistake.
2. It is impossible to be carried to a secure and peaceful harbor on a ship crafted by anxiety or fearful feelings.
3. It is impossible to gain real happiness at the expense of the pain of someone else.
4. It is impossible to elevate yourself by pushing another person lower.
5. It is impossible to take advantage of others without living in secret fear of them.
6. It is impossible to realize the God-filled Life as long as we remain filled with ourselves.
7. It is impossible to rise above any fear or worry whose root we have not found to be buried somewhere in our own unsuspected misunderstanding.
8. It is impossible to receive forgiveness in life without having learned what it means to freely forgive
9. It is impossible to wish another person any kind of ill - for any reason - and not be made sick ourselves.
10. It is impossible to hate any condition in life and learn from it at the same time.

See how many ways you can enlarge this list through insights of your own about the ways in which you are being tricked into punishing yourself. This is priceless self-study and it rewards the sincere seeker with a Life free of unnecessary sorrow.

Remember and honor your intention to win Real life by daring to act out the Truths that set you free. This is the challenge and the Cost.

© 2001 Life of Learning. All Rights Reserved.
Guy Finley is the best-selling author of more than 18 books and tape albums on self-realization and higher success. His works, which have sold over a million copies worldwide and have been translated into ten languages, are recommended by doctors, ministers, and industry leaders. For information about Guy Finley's books, booklets, tapes, and helpful on-going study groups call (541) 476-1200 or visit www.guyfinley.com where you can also sign up to receive a free, weekly Key Lesson.