Does someone just have to look at you differently, and you get angry?

Is there a difference between what you say you want in your life and what is there? Do you have a plan to plant new crops and occasional exotic flowers? Variety is the way to keep the soil rich and fertile, isn't it? Perhaps your next step is to buy land in a different climate, hire a different landscaper, or reduce the size of your plot to focus your energies. Choose carefully. It is not too difficult to see that you cannot cut beautiful flowers when you've planted only potatoes.

So, what kind of a crop do you want? First things first. Being able to separate needs, wants and wishes in your own mind is helpful. It reduces blame and frustration. Needs are simple--they are the things necessary to keep humans alive and safe. Wishes are those things you would like to have, do or be in your life. You want them to appear magically--you do nothing and they are delivered to your front door. Wants are your true goals. These are the things you are willing to do what it takes to achieve. Any time you hear yourself saying, "I want____", it is helpful to ask yourself if you are willing to do what it takes to make it happen, even if it is in baby steps. If you're not, it's a wish, or, perhaps, an idea for another time.

If you are in a relationship with anyone who is unwilling to honor your needs, respect your wants or listen to your wishes, you may be in the wrong place. Surround yourself with supportive people who are interested in you achieving your goals. This may seem both simple and obvious, however, many beautiful flowers surround themselves with potatoes, and wonder why they are never part of a bouquet!

Be sure that you are playing on your own team, playing with others who are similarly goal-oriented. Be sure to include your good health in your goals. This will keep the balance necessary to maintain your focus without undue stress. Include relaxation, fun, laughter, exercise, quiet time, alone time...and other lovely things. Having goals does not mean keeping your nose to the grindstone. It means keeping your face towards the sun!

Spend some time today looking at your life, your garden. What are you growing there? You will always grow what you planted, but, did you choose thoughtfully? Did you look at those seed packets carefully? Will you have the results you want with the seeds you're sowing? You may find yourself needing to weed or even to take the tractor out and stir up the soil. Today's a great day to begin.

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD August, 1999. All rights reserved. Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, is a speaker, consultant, author and executive coach. She provides strategies, tools, insights and inspiration to individuals and organizations to Achieve Goals, Create Quality Relationships & Maintain Healthy Balance-simultaneously Succeed on Your Own Terms! http://www.GetLifeLInedUp.com/ Contact her: mailto:rs@GetLifeLinedUp.com Free publications! Invite her to speak at your next event!