Happiness is a term with different meanings and levels, depending on who one asks. Nobody can expect to be totally happy or content all of the time, since some days are simply better days than others, due to circumstances, how we feel physically, etc. But we can develop an attitude and do things to make sure we have the best chance of having real satisfaction with our life situation no matter what it is. The following questions can be asked, and suggestions are made to boost your everyday mood and to create a healthy attitude.

1. Do you like and accept yourself?

Pretty basic, yet a big problem for many with self esteem and self worth problems. Accept yourself as you are, and do what you can to improve in areas you feel need some work. Avoid judgments of yourself and others. Give yourself room for mistakes and not being perfect in what you do and say. If it is a serious long standing problem, get professional help to deal with this issue.

2. Is it easy for you to make friends and get to know people?

The ability to be happy and enjoy other people's successes and seeing them in the spotlight shows we are secure and not envious or jealous of others. The more we appreciate and celebrate others' happiness and success, the greater our chances are of attracting success and positive things for ourselves!

3. Are you just as happy when you see someone else enjoying success or getting attention as you are when it is you?

Boundaries are an imaginary line of protection that you draw around yourself. They are about protecting you from other people's actions. Determine for yourself what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from other people. Boundaries and limits define how you take charge of your time and space and get in touch with your feelings. They express the extent of your responsibilities and power and show others what you are willing to do or accept. Without limits it's difficult to say "no".

4. Is your home "warm" and do you invite friends to visit often?

Again, having a group, even if small, of support people and friends is vital to a life that's full and complete. Other people give us love, companionship, laughter, a sense of connection to the Universe, and other good things. Being social and sociable is a sign that you are enjoying life, and it is healthy for everyone.

5. Are you married, or if not, do you feel no deep frustration over this?

Studies show that married people live longer than single people on average. There is nothing wrong with being single at all if that is your situation or your choice. The important thing is that whatever relationships you are in, especially the intimate, close types, that you feel good about your part in them, and you are not wrestling with any severe problems or concerns that remain unresolved or unacknowledged.

6. Do you see yourself as an attractive and friendly person?

Attractive here means fun to be with, a good friend, kind, etc., and is not referring to physical appearance. Remember, you will tend to attract the types of people (and their personalities) as you present to others. Being friendly to people is simply that. You don't have to be friends with a stranger to say hello or excuse me or to open the door for them going into a store. A friendly attitude and an attractive spirit and personality will create happiness for you and it will attract people who are happy people into your life.

7. Do you feel that most people like you?

Again, people who meet you or know you do not have to love you or think you are the greatest person alive. What is often an indication of how we feel about ourselves, as well as what we are projecting to others however, is obvious in how other people respond to us. If people avoid you, something is wrong somewhere. If they are friendly and smile and laugh and chat with you, that is a good sign you are sending out positive, accepting, likeable signals.

8. Do you make conversations easily without feeling anxious or uncomfortable?

Assuming you are not interviewing for an important job, or talking with someone with whom you have had a negative past experience, if you feel confident and happy and satisfied with yourself and what you have to offer the world, talking with people in person will not be a problem. Again, you don't have to be very close to the person. It can even be a stranger waiting with you for the bus. It simply shows you are feeling good about yourself and are accepting and trusting the people with whom you meet.

9. Is it comfortable for you to be in the spotlight or to be the center of attention?

If this is a yes, you are comfortable with who you are, how you look, and what you have to offer others. You have your opinions and skills to share or show or talk about, and you feel fine doing that. This is a sign of a secure and self assured person.

10. Do you have a good sense of humor, and particularly, are you able to laugh at yourself?

A sense of humor is one of the things people say attracts them most to other people. It is vital to be able to laugh with others and also to be able to laugh at yourself when you make a silly error or trip on a banana peel (assuming you don't break any bones!). Laughter is one of the most powerful tools we have as humans to pull ourselves from despair or anger into hope and forgiveness. It is a crucial tool to staying physically well, and enjoying our own life thoughout all of its ups and downs. Above all, learn to laugh and laugh at every chance you get. Life will be much happier and you will weather it though the good times and the bad with equal grace if you develop and use your sense of humor in all areas of your life.

Copyright 2001 Dennis R. Tesdell Dennis R. Tesdell is the author of numerous Top Ten Lists and articles. He can be reached at lifecoach@coachdt.com, or visited on the web at http://www.coachdt.com/